


One Hundred Sleepless Nights

by meimentomori



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crushes, Flirting, Fluff, Forced Proximity, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 14:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12278718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meimentomori/pseuds/meimentomori
Summary: allura's sick and tired of lance and keith constantly bickering back and forth at every chance they getso she decides, why not force them to get along?by locking them alone together in keith's bedroomfor as many nights as it takes





	1. Chapter 1

"I told you, Lance. Nobody has time for you to try and practice your stupid moves!" I moved my hand in time to the words, mocking his dumbass face. "'Oh, I'm Lance. And I think some fancy tricks are gonna impress the princess who's obviously not interested in me but I try anyway.'"

He glared at me, eyes cold and unforgiving, walking towards me with his hands clenched into fists. I returned the favor, matching his pace with fire burning in my own eyes. For a few moments, we stood there, tension filling the air. It took all the willpower in me to not punch him in the nose right then and there. Break a part of that perfect face he thought he had. Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, Coran, and Allura gasped in unison as Lance grabbed the collar of my shirt. His jaw was clenched together, as I breathed in as much air as I could. He was quite stronger than me, which threw me off guard. There was no way I was going to be the one to make the first blow in this state.

"That's not why I was practicing that and you know it." He was hissing, nearly spitting in my face. "At least I'm not the one going around, shouting at us because he's having another one of his prissy mood swings!"

"Lance, that-"

Allura tried to force her way in, but I cut her off. Our faces were still inches apart, Lance's grip tightening on my shirt, choking even more air out of me. My heart was pumping adrenaline through out my body. I wasn't done with him yet. I wouldn't be done until the day he minded his own damn business and stuck to practice the way it was meant to be, with Shiro at the lead and us following his every order. A few days ago, we had just formed Voltron for the first time, without being put in life-threatening danger, and Lance was already causing trouble. I was surprised he hadn't instantly fucked everything up that first day. I stood my ground as much as I could. I could barely speak my next wods, voice straining to stay confident.

"So what are you gonna do about it?" I smirked. "Punch me?"

"Fuck you Keith."

He let go of my shirt. I snickered as he turned away, only to be met with his fist hitting my cheek instantly. I fell to my knees, wiping the blood off of my chin that trickled out of my mouth. I could already feel it swelling, knowing well it would be bruised for a while. I stood back up, getting close to him once more so I could take a swing at his face. Another hand grabbed my wrist and pulled it down to my side. Shiro glared at me first, then Lance. We knew this time we had done it, as Allura hopped down from the controls, stomping towards us.

"What are you idiots trying to do?" She was fuming, arms shaking by her sides. I almost think she wanted to punch us both harder but was resisting the urge to do so. "Kill each other? You're a team! The defenders of the universe! We don't have time for fights like this!"

"Allura's right." Shiro let go of my arm, standing between Lance and I. "We may not be fighting right now, but who knows when we will be? You can't go around beating up your teammates. If something happened to either of you, we wouldn't be able to form Voltron. We wouldn't ever be able to go home."

"Then get someone else to pilot the red lion."

I walked off, the pain in my cheek duller than before. From behind me I could hear yelling and bickering but it didn't matter to me. Why would I care about sticking around just for Lance to ruin everything? The door hissed open, then closed behind me. I hung up my jacket and flopped onto my bed, letting out a sigh. Was it that hard for Lance to take things seriously? All he'd been trying to do was try to impress the princess, with everything he did. It was always "Oh Allura, look what I can do!" and "Are you asking me out on a date?". I tried to forget the majority of his cringey pick up lines, but some of them still managed to resurface in my mind. I buried my face further into my pillow. He wouldn't ever listen to me no matter what I could ever try and tell him. Shiro barely knew how to control him. It was always Allura that he'd do anything for. I wished that someday, he would learn to listen to one of us. Even if it wasn't Shiro, that someone else on the team would manage to keep him in line. I would even be that person, if it ever came to it. I heard the door hiss open and shut once more, and from the sounds of his pathetic whining, I knew who had dropped by. Before I could even object, he was pounding on the door. 

"I don't wanna be stuck in the same room as Keith!" The door beeped. I didn't even know it could do that. "Hey, princess! Open up! Please? I'll bring you back something shiny from our next mission."

"As much as I love shiny things, I'll have to decline." The princess' voice rang throughout my room, and I sat up. Lance didn't look too pleased to be here, and I didn't feel too great having him here, either. "The fighting between you two has got to stop. I don't care what kind of rivalry you two had back on Earth. You are paladins now, two of the universe's defenders, and I will not stand back and let you ruin practice, and potential battles, for everyone else just because you can't get past that."

"So, how long is he gonna be in here?" I asked the princess, fed up with her antics "With me? Alone?"

I had no idea what she was planning, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good. It made sense that she'd want us to get along, but couldn't she just force us into battle? Make us work together until we learned to protect each other yet control out hatred at the same time? You didn't have to like someone to work with them, that much I knew. This plan of hers seemed a little bit out of line, and it gave me a pit in my stomach that was building up as Allura began to explain our 'conditions'.

"I want you two to get to know each other, so you'll be staying in here every night, or just around, until you're able to bond." Lance and I were quick to object but she cut us off. "You can't expect battles to keep forcing you to bond. They can help, but they won't form the bond the team needs you to have. You need to learn to care about one another, to listen and sympathize with each other. I don't care how many nights of locking you in that room it takes. You're going to get along for the sake of Voltron, and I will not accept any excuses as to why you shouldn't. This war can't be fought if the ones fighting it are waging one amongst themselves."

With that, she left us in silence. Lance tried his hardest to pry the doors apart, to no avail. The princess had locked us in, that much was apparent from her tone and that beep from earlier. I couldn't help but watch him and laugh as he tried any way he could to get them to open. Clearly, he took this more of as an, 'I'm laughing at you' rather than an 'I'm laughing with you' kind of situation and turned around to look at me, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"What're you laughing at?"

"You do know that beep meant that the doors were locked, right?" I rolled my eyes at him. "Even I figured that out."

"At least I had the decency to try and stay at the Garrison and not get kicked out for discipline issues." He put air quotes around the last bit, a sly smiling crossing his face. "What'd you even get kicked out for?"

"Sneaking out." I shrugged, uninterested. "Didn't matter to me then and still doesn't now. I'd kinda been hoping to be kicked out, as bad as that sounds. Felt better to be on my own than have people on my back all the time about how I could be the best pilot of this generation."

I sighed and laid back down on my bed, this time with my back on the mattress. We didn't speak once more, I for one enjoying the fact that Lance had enough decency to back down and stop arguing for once. Maybe that's both what we really needed, now more than ever. Space and silence. In an instant, the princess was all over the speaker, grumbling and irritated to say the least.

"You can't just sit there like that!" She snapped, seeming like she'd take the opportunity to strangle us, had she been in here too. "Talk! About anything! Something!"

"Princess, have you ever tried to get along with your enemies?" Lance questioned, fed up. "It's not as easy as it seems."

"It's not like we can just spill our whole life stories to each other in a heart beat." I backed him up, he made a good point. "Would you ever do that with a Galra, no matter how innocent they seemed?"

"No, but that's not the point!"

"Then what is, princess!" Lance stood up, shouting up to the ceiling. "You always want everything to be your way. It's 'the team' this and 'Voltron has to' that. Have you ever wondered how we feel?"

"Thank you Lance!" I stood beside him, yelling too. "'Oh I'm the princess, I can do whatever I want because I'm royalty of some alien race we only learned about a few weeks ago'!"

We couldn't help but laugh at out mockery. The princess stayed silent, but I was certain she'd be mad later. For now, Lance and I were alright. I looked over at him and he at me and we smiled at each other for once. Well, as much as my swollen cheek would allow me to. He was annoying, that much was true but, if it was one thing you could count on Lance for, it was that he was always down to make fun of people he was on bad terms with at the moment, even if they were a princess he so admired.

"You know, you're pretty good at that." Lance shook his head, letting out a few more laughs. "I never thought you'd be able to beat me at anything but, your comebacks are quite impressive."

"Thanks." I laughed a little more and stopped. "I wouldn't sell yourself short, you're pretty damn good yourself."

"Where did you sneak off to from the Garrison anyways?" Lance sat down on my bed, so I sat next to him, leaving a fair amount of distance between us. "To get pizza or something?"

"If I'm being completely honest, yeah." I couldn't help but realize how ridiculous that must've sounded, so I tried to justify it. "The day before I went to the Garrison, I decided to check out the town closest to it, since I was already on my way there. I found a nice pizza place, and one night I got hungry, stole a little ship to get there, and boom. Pizza at four in the morning."

"You're serious?"

He looked at me like it was a joke, but I nodded. I knew how to pilot one of those things well, plus they were more like motorbikes than space crafts anyway, so parking wasn't an issue. I shrugged at Lance's shock and continued to explain more.

"I was hungry, and like I said before, I didn't care if they kicked me out. I just wanted food." I paused. Tonight wasn't the night to tell him. "It wasn't the only thing that got me kicked out but it certainly didn't help my case."

"Damn, what a way to go."

"You're telling me." 

We both sat there in more awkward silence. There wasn't much we could say that wouldn't have us open up too much to each other, but I was desperately trying to think of something, anything to talk about. Lance beat me too it, one upping me once more. 

"Do you ever sometimes not want to make it back to Earth?" He asked, seeming kinda sad at this. "I miss it and all most of the time, but there's something about space that's calming. A whole universe we never dreamed we'd get to see, yet here we are. Two of the most important people in the galaxy, and everyone back home doesn't even know."

"Yeah, but it doesn't really matter if they know." I responded, his eyes lighting up a little bit. "All that matters is we know what we do for people. We're saving lives we never knew existed. We're heroes to them, and, in a way, Earth itself. It's our job now to keep Zarkon from destroying places so crucial to the function of basic space life, and I think that sometimes makes this life better than what we had back there."

"Totally." He sighed. "It's like all we did, all that training in the Garrison, it doesn't really mean anything. True, we learned how to fly but our lions amplify our abilities, and the others, they never did. I wonder if the blue lion somehow drew us all there, so that we'd be there on that night together. The five paladins of Voltron, new saviors of the universe, all originally trapped in a school that taught them nothing about life."

"You really think it taught us nothing?"

"Pidge barely got to pilot and Hunk threw up the majority of the time, and look at them now."

We both laughed once more, but this time, the doors slid open. We both knew that we had done enough for the night, and we were both exhausted because of it. I didn't know if this would help us in the long run, but it sure as hell made me wonder about how we were all destined for Voltron. As he left, he turned to me.

"Here's to one hundred sleepless nights." He pretended to cheers a drink with me to it, so I raised an imaginary glass myself. "Goodnight Keith."

"Goodnight Lance."

In that moment as I turned out the lights and drifted off to sleep, one nagging thought plagued my mind.

Would one hundred nights even be enough?


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you serious?" I complained when Keith showed up in my room, that beeping ringing from behind him like last night. "We're doing this in my room this time?"

His jacket was hung over his arm, beads of sweat scattered across his forehead. It would've been a surprise if he hadn't been training, despite it being late. I bet he thought we'd be able to get out of whatever this was. How thoughtful of him. I rolled my eyes and sighed. It was gonna be a long night.

"I don't wanna be here either but," he motioned to the ceiling, "The princess' rules are the rules around here. Unless we want to get thrown out into space or something."

"Allura wouldn't do that." I laughed, unsure of the answer, and with Keith's slight smirk, my nerves weren't eased. "Would she?"

"All I know is that she said there would be consequences if we didn't cooperate." He crossed his arms across his chest. "And I for one don't wanna find out."

"I'm starting to think it was more than sneaking out for pizza that got you kicked out of the Garrison."

I groaned and buried my face in my bed sheets. I turned my head to look at him as he hung his jacket on top of my own. His face was completely healed from last night, unsurprisingly. Shiro probably convinced him to heal himself in one of those pods, which would also explain why his face looked soft and glowy. Not angelic, more like a child. That kind of innocent, youthful glow. It suited him, I thought. Made his eyes a little gentler. 

"Your face looks better." I mumbled. "I'm sorry I hit you, even if it was your idea."

"And I'm sorry I insulted you." He sat himself right in front of my bed, giving off even more of a little kid vibe. Reminded me of my niece and nephew back home. "I just wish you'd not focus on Allura so much."

"Hey, not my fault we're under the rule of a gorgeous girl like her." I eyed him suspiciously. "Why do you even care so much?"

"I don't like her." He grumbled. "I just don't think she's your type, alright?"

"What do you think my type is then?"

He took a minute to think about it, his eyebrows knit in concentration. I never really knew what type I went for when it came to girls, just that they were beautiful. I hadn't dated anyone back on Earth, and so far, nobody out here, alien or otherwise. Pidge was cute but in the 'I want to play video games and talk sometimes and be friends' kinda way. Allura was beautiful, and she could fight for herself, but she did have the tendency to go off on her own a lot. I bit my lip and started to rethink why I actually did like her, especially after this whole thing she had us doing. Now that I thought about it, maybe she liked Shiro. It'd make sense, she'd always had the most respect for him out of all of us. She also seemed like she'd do anything to protect him, same as Shiro would for her. Maybe they were dating and that's why she didn't flirt back? I shook my head, dismissing the thought and looking back down at Keith. He finally spoke again.

"Your type would be someone you'd never admit to liking." He grinned up at me. "Someone you hated but only to get their attention, because you wanted them to think you were better than them. Deep down, I think you flirt so much because you want them to see the stronger side of you but really, it's just so they give you their trust before you give them yours. A good way to protect yourself."

"Uh, Keith?"

"Yeah?"

I couldn't believe I was about to ask him this out loud but, why did that sound like he was describing himself? That this relationship we had, it was actually romantic? There was no way I would ever fall in love with Keith. Never. Not gonna happen. 

"By any chance do you have a crush on me?"

"No!" He was blushing, and I realized I was too. Man, this was awkward. "No. I just think you might wanna look beyond Allura. Plus, I think you have some competition with Shiro."

"Dammit." I tried to shake the blushing and replace it with jealousy but, I could still feel my face was as warm as it was to begin with. "Guess I'm not the only one who noticed. They'd make a cuter couple than I would with her, huh?"

"That's not what I meant at all, Lance." He scratched the back of his head. "I just think that maybe you should lay off a bit, for Shiro's sake."

"Don't tell me you like Shiro."

"Uh." He looked at me, concerned. I should be easier on him. It looked like he hadn't slept as well as I thought. "No. He's more like a brother to me. First person who's ever felt like family."

"Wait, you never had a family?"

"It's complicated."

"O-Oh I'm sorry." I stuttered, at a loss for words. "I don't know what to say."

"It's fine." He tried to brush it off, but his eyes told a completely different story. "You didn't know."

He laughed nervously and I couldn't help but feel my heart sink. We were horrible at this friendship thing. In one night alone I'd accused him of having a crush on me, and Shiro, and not once thought about him. I had a huge family back home, and to think that he had none. I really was inconsiderate sometimes, wasn't I? I bet that's why he had such a hard time opening up to anyone, because once he did, people didn't know how to react. He'd always had to keep it to himself since he never really had anyone to go to who he knew could support him. Seeing him on the floor, I couldn't help but want him to feel some comfort, even if it was a shitty bed.

"Do you wanna sit up here with me and talk?" I asked, feeling guilty in that moment. "The floor can't be comfortable, plus I sat on your bed last night."

He nodded, smiling as he positioned himself on the bed next to me. I never noticed before but, when Keith smiled, it wasn't with his whole face. There are some people whose eyes crinkle up, or their dimples show but, with him it was just a smile. I liked that. It was unique.

"What're you looking at, Mister 'Do you have a crush on me'?" He laughed. "You sure it's not the other way around?"

"Not at all." I crossed my arms. "Willing to bet on it?"

"No need to bet on it." He crossed his in response. "You'd never be able to act on it even if you did."

He yawned, body swaying towards the wall. His eyes were fluttering shut and I could tell he wasn't going to be able to stay awake much longer. He really hadn't been sleeping. Aren't you not supposed to work out that hard if you're that low on energy? And shouldn't Allura be letting us out by now?

"Allura, I think Keith's tired." I paused, and continued when there was no response. "Maybe we should call it a night."

"I'm not tired!" He snapped himself awake as he said that. "We can do this. I can never sleep much, so it's not like it makes a difference if I stay up later."

"If you say so."

We sat in silence, until I felt Keith's head on my shoulder. He was snoring a little. He really was like my little nephew in that moment. I shook him gently.

"Keith, wake up."

I nudged him but he didn't budge. He nearly clung to my arm like a teddy bear as I tried to pry him away. I laughed and let him steal my bed, pulling the covers gently over him. The doors opened and I took my jacket, rehanging Keith's. He needed the rest, he really could fight better than me and if we didn't have him regaining his strength well, I don't think we'd be the same team. I doubt we'd even be able to do half of what we did without him.

"Night buddy."

I walked out and bumped into Pidge, who was, lying outside our room? She was giggling about something. Behind her back she was holding what I could only assume was her laptop. Something told me that she wasn't just working on it that night. I let it slide. I couldn't be yelling at her outside of my room at this hour.

"What's so funny?"

"Are you actually letting your rival sleep in your bed?" She grinned. "Not very Lance of you."

"It's not very Keith to fall asleep like that, Pidge." I dug my nails into my palms, trying to use pain to distract me from my nerves. "Has he, been acting any different to you?"

"I think he's stressed about this whole adjustment." Pidge motioned around to the bare halls. They did give off a spooky hospital vibe, if you dimmed the lights and added some medical equipment here and there. "You must feel the same somehow, I know it hasn't been the easiest for me and the others."

She paused, now holding her laptop to her chest. I motioned for her to continue, and she did, though her voice was much softer and tender than it had been before.

"You might hate me for saying this but," Her eyes were focused on the floor, "Keith could use a friend. If you have to spend every night together, at least try to get along. For real. You two are red and blue. Shiro might be our leader but, you both mean a lot to the team."

With that she walked away, leaving me in awe. A fifteen year old had better advice than a god knows how many years old princess. I guess when you have to leave your mother behind and still have no clue where your family is, you spend a lot of time swallowed up in your head. Had to hand it to her, she might not be up to our fighting levels yet but, she could seriously do some damage with that head of hers. I started walking, where I didn't know. A door opened on my left and I knew in that moment whose room it was. Keith's. It would have to do. I hung my jacket off and laid down in his bed, feeling something under his pillow. I grabbed at it, thankful in that moment it had been the handle and not the actual knife side as I pulled it out. I hadn't realized he had such a nice blade. It was light, seemed easy to get some quick jabs in. Impulsive and to the point, like him. The bottom part of it was wrapped so I left it that way, tucking it underneath his bed. 

I drifted off to sleep, hoping for once that Keith would be alright.


	3. Chapter 3

"Shiro?"

The Black Lion was down, its eyes no longer lit up. It wasn't moving. Nobody else was around, not even Red. I couldn't tell where I was. It was barren, that was for sure. The ground was eroding away, gray dust floating up all around me in a thick fog. Some of it clung to the walls of my lungs as I took in the tiniest breath, choking on the fragments of what seemed to me was a decaying planet. I started to press through the wind, the gusts suffocating me more and more, even with my mouth covered. He had to be in there. Dead or alive, there was no way I would ever leave here without him. As I approached, the lion seemed to awaken. Its jaw extended open and I stepped in cautiously.

"Okay buddy." The controls lit up around me but I didn't dare move from the back, behind his chair and controls. I would never take his place. "Where's Shiro?"

There was no response. From where I was standing, I could see his hand. It was bent oddly far in front of him. There was no way he would be dead. Shiro would never take on something he couldn't handle. I was the one, out of all of us, who would do that. Unless, he was trying to protect one of us. I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath, and made my way to the side of him. I would open my eyes, and he'd be there. Injured, but breathing. 

I wish I had kept them shut.

Blood was everywhere. It poured from his chest, soaking the floor around him. Sparks were going off at the base of the controls, and I didn't know how long much longer they would last. I knelt down in front of Shiro, his blood soaking my knees. There was no life left in him. His eyes stared into mine, permanently frozen in fear. I shook his corpse, tears in my eyes. 

"Shiro." I sobbed, holding him close. "Come on. You can wake up. We'll get you home. I'm not letting you die out here. I need you."

I cried into his shoulder, holding onto his body like a child. Something wasn't right with his, though. I could feel something jabbing into one of my ribs. I looked down through my hazy vision and saw my knife, right in his heart. The one that only I knew I had, always hidden under my pillow every night for safe keeping and kept by my side at all times. I felt my heart sink.

I killed him. 

I didn't hesitate to pull it out, slipping and crashing into the panel. It opened up, like mine did when it wanted me to put my bayard in it. What was different was that it looked like my knife would fit into it. I couldn't have killed him, no matter what it was for. He was the closest to a brother I ever had, and there was no way I'd be able to hurt what family this world gave me. The slot was screaming for me to shove the knife in and unlock whatever dark secrets this lion had to offer. I slid my back down against the controls, burying my face in sticky, stained hands. The blood of a champion.

Someone I'd never be able to compare to.

"I can't." I could feel the tears falling harder now. "I want to go back to the castle."

"You can." A voice called. "Just open your eyes."

"My eyes are open!" I yelled, throwing my knife at the roof of the lion. "Shiro's gone! I'm going to have to lead Voltron but I don't know how!"

"You can lead Voltron." The voice assured me. "Just not today. He's not gone. Wake up, Keith."

My head was spinning. Red, black, white, all meshing together in my eyes to create a blur of blatant pain. I tried reaching out to Shiro but to no avail. My face sunk into the floor, salt and iron mixing into a puddle I wished was deep enough to drown in. I lifted my head up one more time, in an attempt to beg for mercy.

"Please, before it's too late." I took my knife and stabbed my own heart, as deep as I could. "Give him my life."

The last thing I could feel was my hand itching to end the pain as I faded away.

"Keith!" 

Lance was shaking me, eyes rimmed with tears it seemed. He sighed contentedly when I pushed him away, but didn't quite regain the classic Lance look I'd grown so used to seeing. Instead of a sly grin, he looked worried. His eyes were wide, with his voice whispering 'it'll be okay' under his breath, shaky and weak. Had I been dying or something? Aside from the nightmare, there was nothing I could feel that was wrong with me, other than the sheets being covered in sweat. I tilted my head in confusion as he felt to see if I had a fever.

"What happened last night?" My voice was hoarse. "Isn't it still early?"

"You've been asleep for fourteen hours." He dunked a towel into a bucket of water, wringing it out before placing it on my forehead. "This isn't even your room. It's mine. You fell asleep on my shoulder last night, then refused to get up. I just let you be. Figured you were exhausted from all that training. I'm glad I decided to check on you. You look like you've got the flu."

He was right. The more aware of my body I was, the more I could feel the aches throughout my limbs. It felt like we were in an igloo, yet at the same time, my skin was hot as fire to the touch. The towel was helping and, surprisingly, Lance was too. Something about the way he spoke as he smiled softly to try and cheer me up worked. It took me hours to recover from these nightmares, especially when they were this bad. Granted, being sick wasn't helping it any but it made me respect Lance that much more. It was awkward last night, now that I could remember it again, but he was trying his damn best to make it up to me. That was what mattered.

"You'd be able to lead Voltron." The voice from my head in that nightmare was back. I was too delirious to recognize it at the time but here was its owner, right in front of me. "You wouldn't stop. I tried my best to calm you down but I don't think it helped much."

"Are you kidding?" He chuckled awkwardly and I shook my head at him. "You woke me up. That's more than I could ask somebody to do, especially with me being sick and all. Thanks."

"Don't worry about it." He rolled his eyes. "It's what friends do, after all."

"Friends?"

It felt like a foreign word to me. I had friends when I was younger, that wasn't what was the shocker. It was the fact that we'd considered each other enemies for however long we had been out in space for now. Lance had considered me his rival even before I knew his name. To call him my friend now wouldn't work, there was no way it could. He was trying to make it up to me but this was rushing things, and I think he knew it himself. Before I could say anything else, he responded.

"Not friends, no." He peeled the towel off of my head and refreshed it, placing it back once more. "I talked to Pidge last night and she said something that makes me think we should try and be friends. I know we can't erase the past within only three nights, and I don't expect last night to make things any better between us. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I'm sorry. I know it's not a great apology to be here, tending to you in illness and waking you from a nightmare but I'm hoping it sets us off on the right foot."

"I think it will." I smiled. He really was dumb and stubborn but you could get through to him, sometimes. "You're alright, Lance."

"You too Keith."

I yawned as my eyes tried to force their way shut but the pain in my body had other plans. I started to shiver. I wanted to ask Lance for more blankets but once quick glance behind him gave me the answer I needed. Even if he wanted to, it was closed and we both knew that Allura had no intentions to unlock it. He noticed the shivering and helped me sit up so that my feet touched the ground once more, sending a rush of cold up my spine. I tried pulling the blankets around me for some warmth but Lance stopped me. Instead of leaving my arms exposed against the air, he helped me put my jacket on. He then peeled the towel off of my head, grabbing a dry one to let me pat my face dry with. Pulling the sheets over me now, I felt a little warmer. Lance shouldn't have had to help me out this much but even sitting up was a challenge. I couldn't imagine trying to stand. 

"Aren't you gonna get sick because of me?" I tried to laugh but it came out as a cough instead. "I'm already sleeping in your bed and I think you're sleeping in mine, and now you're tending to my every need. You really don't have to. We can't have two paladins out sick."

"I've had to take care of my niece and nephew a lot." He sighed longingly. He really did miss his family. "They're one of the reasons I wasn't too excited about going to that Garrison. Which you never told me what else you got kicked out for, might I add."

"Flipping off some kid."

"Not surprised." He grinned. Now we were back to as normal as we could be. "You do have quite a temper on you."

"He was teasing a poor girl for talking about her girlfriend." I remembered her. "She was nice to everyone, as much as she could be, at least. She'd calmed me down a few times and she was one of those girls you wanted to be there for, you know? She'd only defend other people but never herself. It made me sad. I used to think I could hear her crying some nights but it might've been just my imagination."

"I think I know who you're talking about." He responded. "She was always smiling at Pidge whenever we would pass her. I think they knew each other somehow."

"Wait." It clicked in my head and my heart broke a little more for this girl. "You don't think she was dating Pidge, do you?"

"And we just took her girlfriend away without any warning?" He looked to the door. We both wanted to ask her. "Is she gonna be okay without her?"

"I don't know." I thought for a second. "We can't know for sure that they were dating, it's only a theory now so I think it's too soon to tell. I really think they were though. She'd been learning the names of constellations and how to repair technology, a lot more than the other girls in our class knew how to at least. If I had to get thrown out for defending anyone, any single day it would've been her."

"That's amazing." His eyes fell a little. "I don't think I'd risk it for one person, out in the open like that. I'm sure she appreciated it. I know I would."

I smiled. I know she did. The night before I was kicked out, she snuck into my room to thank me. I'd never seen someone cry more or open up to someone that fast. She was sixteen. She told me all about how her family didn't have a ton of money so when she got her grades up in her sophomore year of high school, enough to get her into the Garrison, they'd sent her off with no questions asked. She wanted to be an ice skater, in secret. Her mom wouldn't let her since she didn't want her breaking anything and they couldn't afford it. Her girlfriend, she said, thanked me too for what I'd done for her. She was sobbing so much at that point, all I could do was hold her in my arms. People really did try to look strong when they were weak. She'd been known to call out people for being assholes too, which I thought was brave of her. Who would've known how broken she was inside? I didn't want to leave her, ever. I'd wanted to fix her. Not because I had a crush on her, it was because she'd defended me before. Whenever anyone called me a hothead, she'd track them down and yell at them for me. She'd help me up if I ever slipped. She was a good person and if she was Pidge's girlfriend, we had to defeat the universe before she graduated. 

"I can't wait to tell her what we've been able to do." I could feel myself remembering when she would tell me how amazing a pilot I would make. "She'll be overjoyed."

"Do you think we'll ever make it back home?" His voice longed to see Earth again. "Will there ever be another day we get to spend there?"

"If we don't." I laid back down, exhausted. I didn't know how much talking drained your energy. "We'll make space our home."

The doors opened and Lance took the towel from my hand, dipped it in the bucket to make it wet, and placed it back on my head.

"Try to get some rest." He got up and walked to the doorway, not before he turned around to say one last thing. "The universe needs you."

Something in his voice seemed hurt. I wanted to call out to him to come back but drowsiness was taking its toll. Someday he would open up to me.

Just like that girl did.


	4. Chapter 4

"We're having a what?!" I asked, shocked, as everyone piled into my room with sleeping bags. "There's not even enough room in here for you guys to sleep!"

Shiro rolled his eyes. "Relax Lance. Allura said we only have to stay in here if we fall asleep before she locks the doors. Whoever's still awake gets to leave."

"Think you'll be able to handle it?" Keith raised an eyebrow. He was challenging me, that was certain, but I would beat him. I would never lose to him at anything. Ever. 

"If it means not having to share the same room as you." I smirked as he laid his sleeping bag right beside my bed. Did he want me to step on his face? "I'll do anything."

Someone's feeling better, I thought as Keith sat himself next to Pidge. It had been a few nights since we'd been trapped in a room together but we had been talking more than usual, especially since the others had decided that I was the one who was going to take care of him while he was sick. It hadn't been hard. He slept it off, for the most part. The few times he did wake up, I just came in to check on his fever and ask him how he was. There had been no more nightmares, thankfully. At least, he didn't wake up screaming and shaking from any he did have. Looking at him now, he was a lot livelier. As lively as Keith could get, that is. His eyes looked brighter today, like everything around him seemed that much more interesting. I couldn't help but admire his joy. It was nice to see him smiling again, even if it was barely a smirk. I didn't know why I cared so much to see him smile but I never wanted him to be like he was that night ever again. It wasn't fair that he had to think about losing Shiro that often, or even at all. I snapped out of my head and turned my attention back to everyone, slightly nervous as to what was in store. Everyone seemed to be chatting and getting along quite well, only silencing when Shiro cleared his throat to get our attention.

"I think, since Allura wants us to bond tonight." He began, gesturing to all of us. "And since we all seem to be in such good spirits, that we should play a game. Any suggestions?"

Pidge immediately perked up, nearly tumbling forward in excitement. 

"Truth or dare!" She shouted, grinning from ear to ear. "Unless you guys are too chicken to play it."

"Never." I smirked at Pidge, noticing Keith eyeing me up. It was on. "Who's gonna start?"

"Since you're so eager, why not you Lance?" She looked me in the eyes, no mercy to be found. I wasn't afraid, there was nothing I wouldn't do. I would beat Keith, no matter the cost. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Truth was usually someone's way of chickening out but I wanted to wait until we were all doing dares. There wouldn't be a point in picking one, otherwise. Unless I wanted to be tortured and, with Pidge, I had a feeling that she would. I didn't know what she had planned for me but, with that mischievous smirk on her face, I didn't want to find out. Not yet, at least. When the time came, I'd accept whatever it was with open arms.

No matter how uncomfortable it was.

"Have you ever had a crush on anyone in this room?"

"Of course not!" I responded, appalled. "Why is that even a question?"

Everyone, aside from Keith and I, shared a knowing glance as I tilted my head in confusion, wondering what the hell they were thinking. Allura wasn't secretly in this room, was she? I turned around and looked under my bed, empty as usual. There wasn't anywhere else for her to hide, I realized, unless she'd managed to shrink herself down somehow. She was the only one I'd had eyes for here this whole time. I turned to Keith, who looked at me and shrugged. He wasn't in on whatever they were either, which didn't exactly soothe my nerves. This was really weird. Pidge sighed, shaking her head as if whoever it was, was obvious.

"You're hopeless." She laid herself on top of her sleeping bag, chin rested in her hands. "Your turn to pick someone, Lance."

"Keith." I said, without a moment's hesitation. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." He yawned, stretching his arms back behind his head. This was child's play to him. "I'm not a coward like you.

"Alright then." I looked over at Pidge, locking eyes with her. This was the perfect revenge for them both. "I dare you to kiss Pidge."

"I am not kissing Keith." She buried her face down in her sleeping bag, mumbling something I couldn't quite hear. It sounded like she said she had something, but I wasn't sure.

"What was that, Pidge?" I asked, leaning across Keith to get closer to her. "You have what?"

"I said." She picked her head up, hissing at me. "I have standards. Plus, I'm only fifteen. Wouldn't that be just a little bit weird?

"It's a kiss, Pidge." I raised an eyebrow at her, another idea popping into my head. "Unless, you'd rather kiss me instead."

"No way in hell am I ever kissing you." Shiro glared at her but she ignored him, instead she sat up and turned to Keith whose expression was unreadable. "Let's get this over with."

He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips, Pidge glaring at me as he did. He then turned to me, a smug look on his face. I dug my nails into my palm, so hard that I thought I might've broken the skin. Something inside of me made me want to punch Keith for actually going through with it but it was my dare. I shouldn't have been mad at him for it. As we moved on with the game, I couldn't help but think about it. How he'd done it with no hesitation. He was braver than me it seemed. I doubted I'd have the confidence to kiss someone that fast, even if it was just a game. It was Keith's turn to ask someone now, and I had a feeling I knew who it was going to be.

"Pidge." Not what I was expecting him to say but I wasn't going to complain. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth." She huffed, wriggling her way into her sleeping bag. Something told me she wasn't going to get out of it again tonight. "At least this way I won't have to kiss anybody."

"About you not wanting to kiss me." His voice was soft, as if to not hurt her with what he was about to ask. "Was it really because you're dating someone back home?"

She said nothing, instead just stared down at the floor beneath her. She'd frozen up. Hunk and Shiro's faces fell, alongside the rest of ours. I looked away, guilty about what I'd dared Keith to do. I really did get caught up in our rivalry too much and this was something I couldn't take back. I doubted that girl was one to get mad about a kiss in a game but I could tell Pidge thought otherwise. Tears hit the floor and splashed back up against her face as my heart broke in two. She took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes, raising her face back up to the rest of us. The heartbreak in her eyes was indescribable, as if she'd just found out her family had died and that she was dying too, all at the same time. I hadn't even thought about what she was going through. None of us had.

"Yes, I was." She whispered, emotions nearly choking her words up. "I don't know if you guys knew her, Mei? I know she had more classes with you, Keith."

All of us nodded along, a few more sobs echoing throughout the room. None of us had realized how hard it was for her. Not only was she unsure of the state of her family, but she didn't have the person she loved the most beside her to support her, to tell her they'd come back to her someday, even if she couldn't believe it herself. To sit with her on the loneliest of nights, the ones where she felt hopeless, and whisper lovingly into her ear. To be someone she could trust to open up to, without any hesitation. She was Pidge's support. 

The hardest thing to leave behind at a time like this.

"She would be proud of you, Pidge." She leaned her cheek on his knee, a little smile crossing her lips. "She was a friend of mine, you know. She was a really good kid. We'll get you back home to her."

"I do miss her a lot. More than I thought I would." She wiped her tears out of her eyes, taking off her glasses so she could dry them on her shirt. "Thanks Keith. She looked up to you a lot, you know. You were the whole reason she worked as hard as she did."

We all sat in silence as Pidge regained her composure, all of us nearing tears ourselves. I had a feeling we'd all end up sleeping in here tonight, not because we were tired, but because we all wanted to be here for her. If we could keep this game up enough to make her smile again, that would be enough. I didn't want me being a dumbass to ruin her night, especially since I'd ruined it for myself in the process. I glanced over at Keith, who I could tell felt terrible about the shit he'd said about her having to focus on the team rather than finding her family. Now we knew why she'd been extra concerned about it. There was a part of me that didn't want him to leave, for us to talk alone, like normal. It was the only time I really felt comfortable talking to anyone, and I liked it. It was the one thing I could learn to look forward to. Something felt off all of a sudden. I looked up to see Pidge staring straight at me with that merciless grin of her's. Someone was feeling better, or worse, but either way, her expression didn't look promising.

This couldn't be good.

"Lance." Her eyes didn't waver. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." I said, after a minute. "It's only fair."

"I dare you to kiss Keith."

"K-Keith?" I stuttered, at a loss for words. Why was I so flustered all of a sudden? "Can't I just kiss you?"

"Now that you know I'm taken, that wouldn't be very kind, now would it?" She wasn't going to negotiate this one. "It's not like you like him or anything, right?"

"Nope!" I was sweating now, it was only a little but I could feel it building up. "Not at all!"

It was my turn to face Keith, who seemed to be more scared than I was. His cockiness wasn't there, nor was his smile. Instead, his hands were folded in his lap, fingers lacing and unlacing themselves together, at such a pace that I almost couldn't keep up with it. My heart was racing, but a dare was a dare, and I wouldn't back down for something like this. We'd forget all about it a few months from now. It wouldn't matter in the long run, so why was I this anxious? There was no reason I had to be nervous. It was just a kiss, right? There would never be anything between us, right?

It's not like I had a crush on him, right?

I leaned in and pressed our lips together, feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks. His were soft and warm, which made me regret my chapped ones. I felt myself reaching out for his hand but I stopped myself. That wasn't normal of me at all. I quickly pulled away, not wanting to look at him anymore. Why did this feel so weird? I couldn't meet his gaze and I didn't think I'd ever be able to again. From around us, the others said nothing. There wasn't a single whisper floating anywhere throughout the room, instead it was shrouded in silence. There was no point in being awake anymore. I wanted to sleep forever or until the morning, at least. They would get the message to leave. Without warning, I stood up and crawled into my bed, burying myself under the covers. We'd never live that down, would we? I'd never played this game until now but a part of me told me this wasn't how it was supposed to feel. You were supposed to laugh it off and joke about it for months to come. Only, I didn't want to joke about it. There was nothing to joke about. I could hear the door open, but I didn't bother to ask the others if they were staying the night. I simply let their footsteps answer me, my hand falling limp beside my bed. It took a while but I stopped my heart from racing and the world became emptiness around me. As I drifted off to sleep, I could've sworn someone grabbed my hand and held it in theirs.

It was probably just my imagination.


	5. Chapter 5

Lance kissed me.

That was the only thought on my mind after last night. Though it had only been a dare, I couldn't help but bring my fingers to my lips and remind myself that it wasn't a dream. It was one of those kisses where our lips barely brushed each other and yet it felt like it'd been longer. The weirdest thing was that I hadn't wanted it to end. I couldn't understand why I would've wanted to keep kissing him. His lips were soft, that was true, and he did smell nice, like the air after a summer storm. I shook my head and buried my face back down into my pillow. I had to stop thinking about him like this. He'd be here any minute. Part of me was excited to see him, to be able to talk to him with no one else around but there was a part of me now that never wanted to say a single word to him ever again. From rivals to lovers, wasn't that how things went? He would never feel the same way and I knew he wouldn't. He ran away after we kissed while I sat there, stunned. What was I even thinking? A knock on my door erased all the thoughts from my mind, bringing more butterflies to my stomach.

"Hey Keith." I'd know that voice anywhere. It was him. "Allura said we don't have to do this tonight if you don't want to. She said it was a long night for us both but it's up to you. I don't mind either way."

I stood up and let the door open, greeted by Lance scratching the back of his head. He didn't look like his usual self today. He seemed nervous, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, not quite meeting my gaze. His arms seemed to protect him as they didn't hang at his sides. One was holding the middle of the other, something I'd never seen him do before. I stepped out of the way so he could come in but he didn't sit on my bed. He just stood there in the middle of the room, staring at something. I'd never noticed that his shirt had blue sleeves before or how thin the fabric was. I realized at that moment he wasn't wearing his jacket. I knew what he needed. He was just too afraid to ask for it. I went and grabbed my jacket off of its hook, handing it to him with a smile. He smiled back but didn't put it on, despite his obvious shivering.

"Lance." I crossed my arms. "You're shivering."

"So?" He crossed his arms right back at me. "It's your jacket. I can't take it from you."

"Borrowing's different than taking."

Or do you just not like me?

I wanted to ask him but before I could he was putting it on. He sat down in front of my bed so I did too, right beside him. It looked nice on him, I thought. Blue might've been his main color but red definitely suited him well. He caught me looking at him and waved my hand in front of my face.

"Hello?" He was laughing. It made me smile. "Anybody there?"

"Sorry." I looked him in his eyes. They looked exhausted, from sleep or something else, that I couldn't tell. "Red suits you better than I thought it would."

He thanked me and we sat in silence once more. Last night was still fresh in my mind as I'm sure it was in his. I wondered if that's why he wouldn't take my jacket. That he thought it'd make things more awkward than they had to be between us. I wanted to tell him that it didn't matter. That we could be friends and put the kiss behind us. The words refused to make their way out of my mouth. I think something in me knew that things were going to be different for me. I couldn't speak for Lance yet something in me hoped he felt the same way. He wasn't acting normal which worried me. He'd have said something that would get us talking by now but he remained silent. All there was to listen to was the faint sound of his breathing. I decided to bite the bullet and start us off. It didn't feel right for us to sit here like this.

"I don't mean to be blunt but," I sighed. He would take this the wrong way no matter how I phrased it. "Are you okay? I don't know if last night is making things weird between us but you don't seem like yourself."

The room fell to silence one more. Now I could see the truth. There were tears glinting in the edges of his eyes. It hadn't been about last night after all. Something else was on his mind. Lance had a habit of keeping things to himself. I sometimes wondered what he really thought about all of us. If he even cared about defending the universe or wanted to prove something to himself. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper. It was so quiet that I had to lean in closer to hear him.

"I don't want to be here anymore Keith." He said, rubbing the tears from his eyes with my sleeves. "I'm scared that if we keep fighting like this, throwing our lives on the line, that I'll never make it home."

Sobs threatened to take over but he held them in, voice now soft rather than a whisper.

"I miss Earth." He looked up at the ceiling. "I miss all of it. I miss my family, the grass on the ground, the sun in the sky, thinking that among the stars in the sky, what laid beyond was a mystery, not whatever the hell we've gotten ourselves into. I miss being safe."

My heart sank. I remembered that night when I saw him there on the castle floor, unconscious and barely breathing. All of the scratches on his body, how strained his voice was. I mainly remember how terrified I was of losing him, how stupid I felt for not staying behind with the others. It was the biggest regret I had but I'd make it up to him.

"I'll make sure you're safe." I didn't look at him when I said this. Instead I joined him in staring at the ceiling. "If nobody else has your back, I will."

I turned to look at his face. There was a hint of a smile on his lips.

"We'll make it home together."

"Yeah." He nodded. "We will."

"Lance?"

He turned and met my gaze. No longer were there tears in his eyes when he looked at me.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about last night."

"What do you mean?"

"The kiss." I could feel my face heat up. I shouldn't have said anything about it. "I hope this doesn't make whatever this is awkward."

"It's not that it's awkward." He looked down at the floor, holding onto the sleeve of my jacket. "It just feels different."

"I know what you mean."

A few seconds passed before Lance started up again, acting like himself once more.

"It was pretty funny when you kissed Pidge though." He chuckled to himself. "Was that your first?"

"Sure was." I shook my head at him. "Thanks a lot for that."

"You disappointed it wasn't me?" He raised an eyebrow. "Or did I do you a favor?"

"In your dreams." I rolled my eyes. "I'd rather it have been you than her."

I wanted to stitch my mouth shut the moment those words left my mouth. It wasn't wrong, which made it that much worse. I hid my face behind my knees, covering it with my hands to give myself an extra layer away from him. He didn't laugh. He didn't make fun of me for it. Instead, he pried my hands away from my face. I looked up at him to see he was blushing too. He looked flattered which made me feel better about it.

"I'll take that as a compliment." He grinned. "You were my first kiss you know."

"I'm so sorry." My face was getting redder, I could feel it. "It must've been so awkward."

"It was." He admitted. "But I'd rather it have been you than anyone here."

"Even Allura?"

"Even Allura."

Holy shit.

That was a lot coming from Lance. The whole time we'd been here, he'd been flirting with her. It couldn't have been more obvious that he liked her. Had she set this up, these nights we spent together, in hopes that this would happen? Somehow we'd fall in love and he'd be off of her back? Why would she want that? If we did end up dating, which I doubted would ever happen, that would hurt the team, wouldn't it? Maybe it would make it stronger, in a weird way? I couldn't think like her. She had more tricks up her sleeve than I could even think of. All I could think of was what he'd said. Did that mean he felt like this too? Not quite friends but not quite dating. A weird in between feeling where you didn't know if you should hold hands or try to go in for a kiss since there was no way of knowing how it'd end. A blushing face that you couldn't hide yet somehow hoped the other person would appreciate how they made you feel. Stolen glances when the other isn't looking, being extra careful to hide it because how you are now is something you didn't want to give up for the world since it felt right. The air seemed lighter around him yet my head wanted to never see him again. 

What the hell was wrong with me?

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Lance. His head was rested on my shoulder, hand centimeters away from my own. I didn't know what he was doing but I didn't flinch. The beating of my heart sped up but I refused to move. Something about the way I felt with him felt better than being alone, for the first time since we'd been talking. It felt better than that kiss. It might've been because I was still tired from last night but this was what we were, happy to not know what exactly we were doing.

"Something about this," He started, looking up at me. "Feels right. Your stupid mullet's soft."

"It's not stupid." I huffed, moving away from him. He scowled at me, offended. "That's what you get for disrespecting my hair."

"Please come back?" He made puppy dog eyes at me. "I'm sorry I said you have a stupid mullet. It's only a good style for you. Nobody else looks good with it."

He laughed as I huffed and turned the other way. I didn't actually mind that he made fun of me like that. I wanted to laugh too but his reactions when I did take offense to it were too perfect to pass up.

"It's fun to tease you." He whined. "I can't help it."

"You too, lover boy."

He shook his head at me but I could see a smile on his face. This time I sat down on my bed. He decided to hold onto my leg, in an attempt to pull me back down next to him. What a child, I thought, but fell to the floor dramatically. I landed on my back with my feet on the edge of my bed. Lance laid down next to me and we looked into each other's eyes. His were joyous, like they had been smiling before his mouth knew how. He had skin that looked like it was glowing and that it'd be soft to touch.

"I feel like we're a couple of girls having a sleepover." I agreed. "Except only one of us has a place to sleep."

"We could, theoretically, share my bed you know." I nudged his side and he did the same. "That way we could talk about everything."

"Like that knife you hide under your pillow?" My eyes widened and he noticed. "I left the handle covered. Where'd you get that thing anyway?"

"I've had it for as long as I can remember." I sighed in relief. I didn't want him thinking I was hiding anything but he didn't seem to care. "It's the one thing I have as a connection to my past."

"That whoever your parents were they obviously shouldn't have given a child a knife?"

"Maybe not as long as I can remember." I giggled, letting the inner girl in me come out. "Baby me would've raised hell with that thing."

"I know I raised hell as a kid." He laid his hands on his chest. "Once I got a bottle of baby powder and while my dad was taking a nap, I sprayed it into the fan. He could've died in his sleep. My mom still reminds me of that to this day."

"Damn." I whistled. "You did raise hell as a kid."

"And that's just the beginning." He had such a homesick look on his face. It hurt me to look at. "Did you used to wish on stars as a kid?"

"Yeah." I admitted. "Mostly to go on an adventure that I'd never forget."

"Well you're here now."

"What did you wish for?"

"It's stupid." He mumbled. "I used to wish that I could get a dog but then, once I got older, I wished that I'd be able to do something great for the world. Everyone's always done things for me. I feel like I deserve to do something for them."

"I never would've guessed." I was in awe. "That's really admirable of you, Lance."

"You think so?"

"Hell yeah." I turned on my side, propping myself up with my arms. "There aren't enough people like that in the world."

The door slid open before he could respond. Neither of us moved. I didn't want him to move. I wanted to ask him more about his life. I wanted to know where he liked to go, what movies he liked, how many siblings he had, if he liked waffles or pancakes more. All that would have to wait until tomorrow night. We finally stood up and he handed my jacket back to me. This time he left reluctantly. I could hear it in his voice when he told me goodnight. I'd forgotten to tell him what else happened last night. How I reached up and grabbed his hand in mine. How I'd woken up before him and left so he didn't know that I had been there. That was the point, wasn't it? I couldn't help but think he did know as I got into bed for the night.

I think he just didn't know what to think of it.


	6. Chapter 6

"Miss me?"

I rolled my eyes when I saw him, leaning against the door frame like some character from a high school romance. Hands in his pockets, he stepped over to stand right in front of me. His shirt was wrinkled in all sorts of places, as if he'd just woken up from a nap. He looked good. He always looked good, no matter what he was wearing. I noticed dark circles under his eyes but didn't think much of it after I saw that he was trying his damn hardest not to smile. He seemed happier for whatever reason. There was a thought in the back of my mind that maybe he enjoyed these nights as much as I did but I wouldn't listen to it. He would stop bothering to talk to me the moment Allura told us whatever this was, was over.

Wouldn't he?

"You wish."

I did.

I couldn't will those words out of my mouth. Maybe because of how true they were. I'd been pacing around earlier just beyond his door. My heart had been racing, arms shaking, tiny beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. Every time I tried to get closer, this feeling in my chest stopped me. It was as if I would've stopped breathing, had I gone any closer. I wanted to see him. I wanted to talk to him for hours about everything. I wanted to understand why we hadn't clicked and what had changed so that we did. I wanted to know all of the trouble he'd gotten into at the Garrison, aside from late night pizza outings. I wanted to know the best memories of his life and the worst. I wanted him to feel comfortable around me. Questions were bubbling up in my mind to ask him as they had earlier but they wouldn't let themselves pass my lips. Instead they stayed, hidden in my vocal cords, where I figured they'd be for a long time. It was always easier when Keith started the conversation. I didn't have to think of what might upset him or what he'd find dumb. I could talk without feeling like the walls of my organs were closing in on me, as if the world was confined to something smaller than myself. I took a seat on his bed as always and he sat next to me.

"You're quieter than usual, McClain." He let out a breath, as if he'd been holding it in this whole time. "Something on your mind?"

"You know my full name?"

He nodded, chuckling to himself. He had one of those laughs that you couldn't quite hear. It was the ghost of his real laugh but I knew I'd hear it soon enough. Now that I started to think about it, I don't think he laughed once before we spent these nights together. Had he been laughing more lately? I wondered if I should ask the others about it. If I was going crazy or if Keith seemed to be reclaiming some lost joy in his life. It was either that or on my end, with this weird new light that seemed to radiate from him. There was this feeling I got whenever I was around him now that I couldn't quite grasp. Where his voice used to make the blood inside me boil, it now lulled me into a trance. Instead of teasing him, I wanted to compliment him. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to smile because of me. It was the first time I admitted that to myself. I couldn't tell if my expression changed or he could tell but I must've done something, for he aimed a blank stare in my direction.

"What're you staring at?" I jumped a bit at his words. They sounded harsh but he quickly corrected himself. "I mean, are you okay? You keep staring off into space."

"Kinda hard not to considering where we are."

"You got me there." 

"Something's been on my mind since last night." I laid myself down on his bed, legs stretching out before me. This was the reason I'd been outside earlier. One of the many questions I'd had on my mind but this was important. I didn't know what to think of it and only he had the answer. "The night of the sleepover."

"Yeah." He stretched himself out as he laid down like me. Something had switched in his tone. It was vulnerable. I wondered if I was the only one who got to hear it. "What about it?"

There was that feeling again. I wished I could hide it away. Ignore it and ask what I'd forgotten to last night. The ceiling seemed as if it was pressing down on me, a countdown on my dynamite heart. That was what it felt like, a bomb ticking away in my chest that only stopped when he wasn't around. I took a deep breath and tried to recollect myself. I should've tried to hang out with Allura and Pidge or Hunk and Shiro instead. Part of me had known that wouldn't have worked anyhow and the other part, well. It seemed like somehow, I wanted to fight these nerves inside me and be honest with him. I turned and looked at his slightly troubled expression. He was staring at the ceiling while he tapped the ground with his foot, rapidly. It didn't seem like he even knew he was doing it. His focus on that spot was unwavering. I doubted he would turn to look at me anytime so I joined him, forcing my question out of my mouth.

"You stayed the whole night, didn't you?"

There was no response. My heart sped up but I wasn't upset or anything. I hadn't expected him to admit it so soon, if it were true. I couldn't even admit what I was thinking right now to him. I knew I'd never be able to tell someone I held their hand while they fell asleep after we'd kissed one awkward kiss. It might not have even happened. That night was a bitch on my mind. I couldn't think straight in my dreams as I drifted off then. They were all about him. They weren't romantic or anything, I knew that much, but the way I felt now, I'd felt in them. We'd been fighting some Galra base and I kept messing up. I couldn't place a finger on why but every shot I took, I missed. I'd even tripped and fallen into a few of the soldiers every now and then. Keith ended up saving me, more times than one. He checked to make sure I was okay and after it was over, with everyone's glares burning into me, he defended me. He told them they wouldn't always be feeling their best. That some days, fighting was going to be harder and it would show. The thing he said that got me the most was that he told me it didn't matter to him because he saw the fire in his own eyes in mine. He knew I was working as hard as him, if not harder. When I woke up yesterday morning, I'd whispered out 'thank you' without giving it much thought. What I hadn't expected was for a 'you're welcome' to echo back to me. Sleep hadn't fully worn off yet so I couldn't tell who it was but what I did know was the door slid open and shut right after I'd heard that voice. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Keith. He'd said something, or asked. I couldn't tell. Damn. Whatever these nerves were about, I hoped they would go away soon.

"What?" I turned to him. Our eyes met for a moment but we both averted our gazes. "I wasn't listening. Sorry."

"Give me your hand."

I complied in response. He interlaced his fingers with mine. They fit perfectly in between each other. His hand was soft, minus a few callouses I could feel further up his palm. He must've grabbed at his bayard with all his might for them to be as noticeable as they were. I didn't mind them. In fact, they felt familiar. 

Just like the hand I'd held before I slept.

I couldn't hide my shock and he took notice. He didn't arch his eyebrows in frustration at me, as he normally did. He didn't turn away in a stubborn huff. He held on tighter. It was like he was afraid I would never come back if he let go. I could feel myself fighting a smile but after I noticed his, I stopped. My heart beat took over my body, consuming most of my senses with it but I could still feel him.

And I didn't mind it.

"Does this answer your question?"

"But why?"

"I don't know." He rubbed his thumb across the back of it. I nearly shivered. "You seemed scared and I didn't know what else to do."

"I'm scared right now."

"Is this helping?"

"Yeah." I couldn't help but smile just a bit wider. "It is."

All of a sudden he stood up. His hand was still clamped to mine, pulling me off of his bed with him with all of his might. He nearly fell over as he did but caught himself on me. I almost bumped my head against the frame as I slid down it from that fall. He held out his other arm for me to grab with my own free hand so I did. I squinted at him slightly, wondering what the hell was going on. It wasn't like Keith to try and get this close to me, let alone stay this close to me. He then pulled me to the floor. We sat across from each other. I faced him and he faced me, hands reluctantly falling to our sides. He looked like he was going to pop like a balloon if he didn't say whatever this weird plan he seemed to have of his was.

"Spit it out, Keith." I crossed my arms. "Why exactly did you pull me off of the bed like that?"

"Because." He dragged out the end of it a bit. "It's better to ask you personal questions like this."

"Personal questions?" I raised an eyebrow. "Why would we do that?"

"Allura wanted us to bond, right?" Something in his voice hinted this wasn't going to be 'bonding'. Take what you will of that. It didn't sound like anything innocent to me, either. "So that's exactly what we'll do."

He had the type of smirk on his face I could only imagine meant I'd either be sleeping with someone else in my bed tonight or I was about to regret every word that flew out of my mouth however long we sat here together. Keith was full of surprises this week, that was for sure. Most of them were good but a few made me wonder who the real Keith was. I braced myself for this adventure and let him begin whatever this was.

"Might as well get this out of the way right now." He leaned in a bit closer. There came that feeling again. "Do you have a crush on me?"

My blood went cold in my body. I wanted to look everywhere but his eyes yet they seemed to take up my whole field of vision. His grin made them brighter, more playful than typical for him. They were a shade of blue similar to my own, only darker and fiercer. It made perfect sense why he was the Red Lion. He was spontaneous, passionate, and irrational at times but in moments like this, it all came together to make one boy who made me feel like I didn't have to hide. That feeling was still in my chest, time ticking down on my heat but suddenly I could forget it was there. It was us. I only had to think about him. I didn't know what I'd say to answer him. I think he knew I'd keep quiet too. Something in me drifted towards him. It led me closer without my knowledge.

So close that it became a kiss.

I realized my mistake, face heating up to a temperature I'd never felt before. There was no time for me to think, to speak, only to run. I quickly got up and stumbled out the door. I didn't have time to think about why it opened just like that. I could hear his voice call after me but I didn't care. I had to find the one person who knew what love felt like. I found her in her room, on her laptop as usual. She screamed as I tapped her on the shoulder, jumping further away from me than a flea in one leap. Once she realized it was me and how heavy I was breathing, she calmed down and stood up. She wrapped her arms around me without hesitation. She was short but her grip was strong. I wished I could thank her but my heart was in my throat. She let me sit on her bed, shutting her laptop off before coming to sit with me.

"What's wrong Lancey Lance?"

"How-" I had to make this sound as vague as possible. "How do you know when you fall in love?"

"Wouldn't you know?" She tilted her head. "You love Allura, right?"

"Do you promise," I swallowed. My mouth felt dry. "Do you promise it'll stay just between us? If I tell you?"

"Of course." Her hand rested itself gently on my shoulder, smiling like my mom used to at me when I was upset. "Tell me everything."

"I think I like Keith."

I mumbled this into my shirt. I could tell she couldn't hear me.

"What did you say?"

"I think I like Keith!" I felt like crying. Why was this so hard to think about? "We just kissed and I left him and I-"

"You left Keith?!" She gasped. "Right after you kissed him?!"

"Are you not supposed to do that?"

"Lance!" She sounded like my mom, too. "I get being scared and all but he might think you hate him now! What were you guys talking about before that?"

"He asked me if I had a crush on him."

"And you said?"

I paused for a moment. "I just kissed him."

The door slid open. Outside, jaw dropped, was none other than Keith Kogane in the flesh. I guess there was no point in hiding it anymore.

"Keith."

I stood up and walked over to him, looking him straight in the eyes. It hadn't been long since we'd known each other but in my heart, it felt like it'd been ages. Sometimes, isn't that how things go? You fall in love before your mind can catch up to you and process what's going on. All you know is that you want them by your side. And I hoped Keith would accept. I took his hands in mine, Pidge gasping in the background. His mouth was still open but he closed it and nodded. We both knew what I was about to say.

"I think I have a crush on you."


	7. Chapter 7

He should be gone by now.

I poked my head out of the doorway, glancing to the right first, then the left. I'd heard him earlier, talking to Hunk and Pidge. Their footsteps had faded ages ago but that didn't stop me from hiding in here, letting the butterflies build up in my stomach. I had no clue where they were headed. All I knew was that I wanted to hit the training room before dinner. It was the only place that I could be alone in times like these. When I had no direction to follow and needed something to numb my mind. Fighting took my focus off of all of my surroundings. All that there was in my line of vision was the enemy and the desire to win burning through my veins. It spent my energy for the day too, which meant it was that much easier to fall asleep at night. In this current situation I was in, that wasn't something that helped me much anymore. It only hurt me, making our conversations that much shorter. I had stopped fighting for him. I knew what it had meant the first day I'd done it. I was twirling my knife in my hand, sitting on the edge of the arena, when all of a sudden, there was a hand on my shoulder. I'd been so lost in thought that I jumped and spooked whoever it was. He gasped, revealing himself to be none other than Shiro, in the flesh. I hadn't even noticed him come in. I motioned for him to take a seat beside me as I silently thanked the galaxy it wasn't Lance. I'd come here to get away from him but something about it didn't feel quite right. I held the handle of the blade tighter in my hand, Shiro looking down at my hand as I did. It was odd for him to join me here. Everyone knew I liked to be alone when I fought, yet something made me think he knew there was something else on my mind. I turned to look at him and my suspicion was confirmed. His eyes weren't confident and sharp, like I'd known them to be. They were soft and dark grey, like a cloudy sky. I knew in my mind I was lucky to have him here with me but something in that moment made me want to yell at him for coming in. To tell him I was doing just fine on my own and I didn't need any brotherly advice right now, as he'd give me from time to time. I appreciated it loads but not right now. This was something I needed to figure out on my own. I think he knew that, too. He wasn't pressuring me into opening up to him. I didn't know if this was a tactic to get me to open to up to him but a part of me wanted to tell him. I figured it'd be easier to open up now and get it over with rather than let things get worse. I didn't want to lash out at him over something as confusing as love. I tried to start talking but he cut me off with his own words.

"I know what you're thinking." He looked up at me. There was that tone in his voice that told me we'd be here a while. "That I'm not talking to make you start the conversation instead of me."

"That's not-"

"Keith." The strength was back in his eyes. "I'm not here to lie to you. I'm only here to help."

"This is about Lance," My heart sped up. This was gonna be awkward. "Isn't it?"

"Yeah." He pressed his hands into the floor behind him. "I'm not here to make you talk or anything. I know that's probably the last thing you want to do right now."

I nodded, looking across the room. He was right. I didn't even know if I'd be able to listen to him but I tried my best to as he continued on.

"I know you that you tend to hide your real feelings underneath your anger." He paused for a moment as if he expected me to object. It was the truth, even if it stung a little. There was no way I could argue even if I wanted to. That's not what he deserved from me. "And I know Pidge told you to befriend Lance. I can tell there's something more to it than what we can see. Especially on your end, Keith. You're getting impatient a lot quicker when we're all talking about our plans and you've been lingering around him. I'm not here to tell you what to do. I just wanted you to know that no matter how things turn out, we'll all be here to support you both."

A minute seemed to pass with no words from either of us, until something compelled me to speak. It was against my better judgement but I couldn't help myself.

"Even if we end up falling in love?"

I'd never seen him smile the way he did then until that moment. It was proud yet tinged with sadness. "Even if you end up falling in love."

His words echoed through my mind and in that moment, I knew where I was headed. Shiro was right. Thoughts of last night flooded through my mind. How I hadn't said anything, just left him standing there, without my hand to hold. How he hadn't called out to me, instead turned back and headed into Pidge's room. How I hadn't gone to his room this morning and apologized like I'd planned, instead hiding in my room until I was certain I wouldn't see him. I regretted it. As I made my way through the hallways, I heard everyone laughing about something. Lance's was the only one I focused on though. It was the loudest but it was the one that made my heart do all sorts of weird things inside my chest while a smile inched its way across my lips. There they all were, in the dining room. Hunk had made something that smelled amazing, despite the weird looking ingredients that he'd used to make it. Pidge and Lance were joking about something, bursting into laughter together. Shiro shook his head at them to Allura but the both of them cracked a smile. They all looked at me as I made my way to my seat, Pidge winking at Lance when I sat down. I had no idea what she was suggesting but I nodded in his direction, smiling a little at him. He turned away from me, so he could to Hunk about how what he'd made today smelled amazing. I decided not to dwell on it and focus on the food. I had no idea how someone could have as good of a sense of taste as Hunk did but I knew he worked as hard as he did on it so that we'd be happy. I thanked him too, leaning over Lance to do so. This got his attention. I bumped into him a bit and whispered an apology but the expression on his face didn't change. It was eager yet shy. He seemed to want something from me but he didn't say anything to me if he did. I felt guilty about it but what could I say to him in front of everyone? That would make things even more awkward then they already were. Not only for us, but for everyone in the room. Shiro looked at me, then towards Lance. It was a small notion but it meant he'd heard about last night. I was sure of it. I decided to eat to take the edge off of everything. It didn't take long for me to finish and I set down my bowl at the same time as Lance. Pidge snorted. I looked at her in bewilderment.

"A match made in food heaven." She took another bite of her own food. "Do you accidentally wake up at the exact same time every morning, too?"

That happened quite often, actually. We'd sleepily wave hello and get breakfast together most mornings. I didn't know if the others knew this. I doubted they did. It was a nice time we'd get alone, even though we rarely ever talked during it. Most of the time Lance would go back to his room but not without thanking me. I'd have to ask him why he did that sometime soon.

"Pidge." Shiro looked at her like she was his own daughter, disappointed and stern. She rolled her eyes but kept quiet for the rest of the meal.

Out of nowhere, I felt Lance nudge my shoulder. He shoved something into my hand. It jabbed the center of my palm with its pointed corner. I looked to him but he just stared ahead, jumping right back into the conversation that was taking place. I looked down to see a piece of paper, folded neatly, resting in my grasp. I unfolded it, careful to not get any residue from dinner on it. On it, he'd written, 'Let's get out of here. My room. Now'. I looked back up at him. This time he smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Allura." Lance turned his attention to her. "Would you mind if Keith and I started early tonight?"

"That's not a problem at all!" She clapped her hands together in joy. "Are you two finally getting along?"

"You could say that." I said. "He's not the brightest still but he's good company."

"Says the boy with the mullet."

"Run along, you two." Allura was smiling. I had a feeling she new about last night, too. Had Pidge told all of them? Or was it Lance? "Just don't get into too much trouble."

We laughed and stood up from the table to leave. That last bit caught me a bit off guard but I ignored it. Hunk looked like he had no idea what was going on but Pidge quickly jumped from her seat and relayed the details to him in a whisper. I mouthed a 'thank you' to her before we left. We walked right next to each other, side by side. I was tempted to take his hand in mind but it felt too soon after what had happened. I bet he hated me. I wasn't even mad about him kissing me and running off! I still couldn't believe Pidge had even suggested that to him but it made sense the more I'd thought about it. The only side she'd even seen to me was the one that did snap on everyone at the drop of a hat. The Keith who couldn't stop running his mouth in protests to the insults Lance threw his way. The Keith that ran against the team, not with them. Only Lance knew the real me. I wanted to keep it that way. We'd been forced into this together. Forced from enemies to friends, and friends to something a bit more than that. That hadn't been forced. That was the bit of this relationship that felt real. Lance wasn't the kind of guy to be a liar about how he felt. Somewhere in my mind, that was always a fear but then I reminded myself of the night after our first kiss. He would never lie about his feelings towards Allura. Everyone knew Lance was in love with her. The flirting never ended with him. At least, it hadn't. Until he told me he was glad that I was his first kiss. Happier than if it had been Allura. We made it to his room. For a moment, we both stood outside the doorway. Why were we both so bad with a thing as simple as love?

"After you."

He winked after he said this, gesturing into the room. It was adorable. I nearly told him that, too. I wasn't ready to. Not yet. Something was holding me back, when there shouldn't have been a reason for me to be afraid. He'd admitted to having a crush on me right to my face and I couldn't even call him cute. I felt like a coward, to tell you the truth. There was one thing he beat me in, no doubt. Being honest with his feelings. I took my usual place on his bed and he followed in his spot next to me. Something about this closeness seemed distant. As if sitting two inches apart was two inches to far. His hand was centimeters away from mine. I was tempted to hold it in my own once more. Things like that were easier for me. Holding hands didn't mean I liked him or anything, right? I nearly sighed out loud from how pathetic of a thought that was. I didn't want to admit it. Maybe if I said it out loud, it'd be easier. Everything I could accept once he knew how I felt. He deserved to. 

"Lance." I could feel my voice wavering. Was I about to cry? "I'm sorry about last night. I hope you can forgive me."

"Why're you sorry?" He asked. I nearly leaned onto his shoulder for support but I stayed strong. I wouldn't give in. "It was sudden. It was dumb. I'm the one who should be apologizing for everything."

"It wasn't dumb though!" It was happening again. "Stop being so hard on yourself because of me! All this time you've been comparing yourself to me but, you know what Lance? I think I like you too. I don't know how long or when it happened but I really think I do. I know you like me but I'm still scared."

"You don't have to be." At this point little droplets were trickling down my cheeks. Lovely. "We don't have to be."

"Yes, we do." I realized then that I wasn't wearing my jacket. He wiped the tears away for me. "We might not make it home alive. If this progresses into a relationship, it's gonna ruin the team. It'll ruin us. We won't be able to lose the other and in this war, we have to be prepared to do that. It would sting enough already. I don't know how it would feel if we were dating."

"Then why don't we be just a little more than close friends?"

"Huh?"

I didn't care how dumb that sounded coming out of my mouth. I'd heard of friends with benefits before but never this. I bet he'd come up with it but something about it would work for us. It seemed like it could be a good solution, if not the best plan we had. We wouldn't have to label ourselves as in love, or boyfriends, or any of that crap. We could be close, but not get close enough to the point of where we wouldn't be able to go on if the other ended up dead in a battle. I could still hold his hand and sit close to him. We couldn't say I love you or we'd risk too much of ourselves for the other. Not that we wouldn't instinctively protect each other more than the others. That's how crushes worked but we could push them aside. This was war. This was something none of the five of us on this ship had prepared for, let alone, had the two of us in particular prepared for this. We had to stay the strongest we could and with this plan, it just might work.

"I know it sounds like some stupid high school thing we'd use to hide our relationship but," He took off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, then wrapped his arm around my waist. I leaned into his chest. His heartbeat was fast but calmer than I'd imagined it would be. "I think it could work. While we figure things out, at least. We don't have to be anything official. And we sure as hell don't have to do all those romantic things."

"You won't even flirt with me?"

"Okay." He shrugged, his hand going up in defeat. "You got me there. I'll probably end up doing that. If you don't mind, my darling Red."

"Not at all, my darling Blue."

"Do you even know any pick up lines?" He raised an eyebrow. "Or will Lancey Lance have to teach you?"

I thought about it for a minute. I hadn't exactly had any reason on Earth to flirt with anybody. I hadn't even known what a pick up line was until Lance. His were always perfect. There was no way anything I could think of on the spot could be as good as any of his. All of a sudden, one from some show I couldn't remember the title of popped into the back of my head. It wasn't good. It was dumb as hell but it was something. I wouldn't ever lose my competitiveness when it came to him.

"Can I borrow a kiss?" I asked, looking up at him. "I promise I'll give it back."

His eyes widened in disbelief. I was as if I'd told him we'd come up with a plan to defeat Zarkon. With no warning, he leaned his face in close to mine and kissed me. It was only a few seconds but that's about all I could handle. The more we kissed, the closer we'd become. Three already wasn't helping our plan but we'd slow it down. This was something new for the both of us. Anybody would be excited if they found out someone they liked ended up liking them back. We were just under completely different circumstances than we would've had back on Earth. I doubted we would've ever been able to be this close had we stayed there so I was thankful, in a way, for it. He was grinning like the damn Cheshire cat when I looked up at him once more.

"I've never been prouder of anyone in my life."

"I'm sure you could do better than me." I chuckled. "I don't even know where I got that from."

"It was cute, Keith." He rested his head on top of mine. This was perfect. "Was that your first time flirting?"

"Was it that obvious?"

"It was impressive, actually." He smirked. "But you'll never be as good as me."

"Oh, really?" It was challenge time. "What's your best one then?"

He accepted without hesitation.

"Are you from outer space?" I shrugged my shoulders. I could've been, for all I knew. "'Cause your body is out of this world."

"All hail the King of Flirtation." I was flustered but I held my cool. He could tell it got to me though. There was no denying anything when you were around him. He caught onto it all, even when you could barely knew what you thought. "Nobody could ever surpass you."

"Damn right."

I yawned and so did he. The door slid open and I nearly cursed it out. Now was not the right time. He tried to get up and leave but I wouldn't let him. He was warm. I got cold most nights and I never had enough covers to stop myself from shivering. I didn't have to ask him to say. He simply took me in his arms, placed me gently on the bed, and kept his arm around me. The sheets were crumpled and the bed was cramped but we made it work. I couldn't help but stare at him for a while. He looked like he didn't have one care in the world, finally able to rest for the day instead of stressing over me. I kissed the tip of his nose, his arm pulling me closer to him. He fell asleep before I did, rhythmic breaths eventually lulling me into my dreams alongside him. The door slid shut before I fell entirely under, nearly letting my final thought out as a whisper.

Thank you, Allura.


End file.
